1 Peter 1:14 Christ has been calling me for ages… I know this because he got through to me, for a while, about 10 years ago. The problem was that I was terrified by the experience. Don’t ask me why, but it felt like I was being watched over 24/7. I was bad, I was not worth it, I HAD to go to church and believe this and that. It was, to be quite frank, a horrible experience which lasted roughly 6 months before I came to my ‘senses’ and realized that Christianity wasn’t for me after all.
Since then I have played a bit more with the occult, been trained as a Reiki Master, studied Buddhism and a fare few other bits and bobs. It has been fun, and interesting, yet I have always felt that ‘something’ was missing. I didn’t feel ‘full’.
Queue drum roll…
Until I started to actually read the Bible properly. I had already read it 10 years back which was what started the whole affair, but this time I am actually studying it. I am taking notice of what is said rather than treating it like any other book. Quite why I started to read it again, I don’t know. God working his magic I guess, but I have been dipping into to it for the last 3 months or so. I have signed up for a couple of websites, discussed things with the Jehovah’s Witnesses (not that I will become one, but it is still interesting) and started listening to EWTN radio.
I believe I am now heading towards Catholicism!
It’s the ritual, the history, the tradition. Anglicanism is all well and good but it doesn’t work for me. Catholicism has the grandeur. I know external appearances should be ignored and what sits inside the tradition is vastly more important, but this is God we are talking too after all, so a bit of pageantry is no bad thing in my book. Also I finally understand the reason why the Pope is the Pope and why he has the authority he has.
Christ finally came to me properly 2 days ago. I was listening to EWTN and it was one of the adverts half way through a program that triggered it. There was something about what they said that peaked my interest and then suddenly, there he was! An immense weight was lifted from me that I did not know was there and an incredible peace came over me. I knew I was in the presence of the divine and I knew it was Jesus. I didn’t have any trumpets, fan-fare, lights, bells and whistles; just peace. I eventually raised the courage to thank him and offered up the first rather faltering prayer to him that I had made in the best part of 10 years. I felt good… really good, and I slept well that night… really well.